Tony Yayo Arrested For Assaulting a Four Year Old

Rapper and 50 Cent's man servant Tony Yayo was arrested today on charges that he threatened and assaulted a toddler while dining in a Denny’s restaurant in East Brunswick, New Jersey. According to witnesses, Yayo (real name Marvin Bernard) had just finished his “Moon over my hammy” when he noticed a child in the restaurant staring in his direction.

Monique Delmonde, a waitress in the restaurant, told reporters that Yayo began staring down the young child and taunting him verbally. “What up lil’ bitch? You gotta eye problem? Why don’t you just turn around son?” The rapper reportedly asked, before throwing French Fries in the direction of the child’s high chair.

The confrontation escalated when the child began laughing and threw a chicken nugget that landed in Yayo’s soft drink. At that point Yayo was heard telling his dining companions, “We gon’ fuck dat baby up!”

Yayo ran at the youngster and reportedly was able to slap the child several times before the child’s family and restaurant employees were able to intervene. The G-Unit lackey and 50 Cent's tax write-off was then forcibly ejected from the restaurant. Police officers, responding to several 911 calls from diners in the restaurant arrived at the scene and promptly arrested the rapper for assault, disturbing the peace and other charges stemming from the low quality of his debut album "Thoughts of a Predicate Fellon" .

This is not the first time the less than talented rapper has had problems with the law resulting from a run in with a much younger individual. Yayo was previously charged with assaulting the 14 year-old son of rival rapper The Game's manager, Jimmy "Henchmen" Rosemond. Yayo also reportedly kicks puppies and gives painful "Indian Burns" to the elderly.

When reached for comment, Yayo explained his actions, telling reporters, “G-Unit, we don’t play around. It's Tony Yayo up in this bitch. Got them German lugers with them hollow tips. Whether you’re four or a hundred and four, we gon ride on you! Buck! Buck! Buck!”

The when asked about the incident, the toddler who was involved in the fracas told reporters Yayo was a "poo poo head." and "eats doodie."

Tony Yayo’s G-Unit Radio Mixtape “Finally Off Papers” is available for free download: HERE.

Legal Shocker: 50 Cent has his Baby Mama sent to the Arctic Circle

Following news last week that rapper 50 Cent had his ex-girlfriend, and the mother of his child, Shaniqua Tompkins, evicted from his Long Island mansion, 50 Cent’s legal team scored another victory in court today. In a move unprecedented in the American legal system, a judge ordered Shaniqua Tompkins to be set adrift on an ice floe in the Arctic Circle. Justice Franklin Hoffman, the presiding judge, gave Ms. Tompkins thirty days to put her affairs in order, at which time she will be flown at her own expense to a frozen section of northern Canada and placed on a floating chunk of ice that is not to exceed ten kilometers (six miles) in its greatest dimension.

The move came in response to news that Ms. Tompkins would be unable to repay money she owed to 50 Cent for minor damages to his Long Island home during the time she spent living there. When news of the non-payment reached Fifty, his attorneys sprung into action, filing an emergency motion with the Suffolk County Housing Court requesting the unusual punishment.

The verdict, which was met with gasps from observers in the packed courtroom, stunned legal experts and prompted an immediate appeal from Ms. Tompkins’s attorney. Speaking from the courthouse steps, the flustered and obviously outmatched attorney told reporters, “This is an absurd and unprecedented abuse of the legal system. We remain confident that justice will be served on appeal.” In the meantime, Ms. Tompkins was seen purchasing warm clothing and has enrolled in a two-week intensive course in Arctic survival skills at the Learning Annex.

50 Cent (real name Curtis Jackson), the clear victor in the legal battle expressed his pleasure with the verdict and added, "My team the Jew-Unit, best lawyers you can get. Believe that. I only hang out with professionals. I got money, that’s not even a question but I'm planning on keeping my money. Ain't nobody gonna mess with my crib. You scuff my floors, I straight murk you. That’s what’s hood."

Jackson was similarly optimistic about his future recording endeavors, "You know you can expect quality with anything on the G-Unit brand. Records, clothing, legal verdicts, we deal in consistency. Our 4th quarter profits are gonna be sky high son! I'm not just a rapper I'm the CEO of EVERYTHING. If you're not making money with us, you're not making money period."

When reached for comment, Fifty's lawyer Brett Kimmel, was enthusiastic about the verdict. “My client is the real victim here. After opening his home to Ms. Thompson, she repeatedly violated his trust as well as the terms of their housing agreement by inviting friends and relatives into the house and continually scuffing the hard woods floors of the home.” Other reported damage to the home includes a burned out light bulb, dirty dishes left in a sink and a bed of Azaleas that was trampled by a neighbor’s dog.

Fifty’s lawyer continued, “Many people may find this punishment to be rare, but this was a fairly common practice among the nomadic Inuit tribes of Greenland and northern Alaska at the turn of the 20th Century. There is a valid legal precedent here.” In keeping with the Inuit tradition, if Ms. Tompkins is able to survive in the Arctic and return to the United States, her debt to Fifty will be erased and she will be welcomed back into American society.

The fate of 50 Cent’s son, Marquise Jackson remains in question. At the rapper’s discretion, the child may be sent to live in the his palatial Connecticut estate or, possibly into the custody of a foster home or child services.

The popular legend that the Inuit commonly put their old people on ice floes and set them adrift is wrong in detail, but it's not terribly far off in the broad strokes. Where it was practiced, senilicide (the killing of old people) was rare except during famines. As long as there was enough food, everyone got their share, including the relatively unproductive. However, when food did run short, the old and sick were looked upon as drains on the community's resources. Sometimes they were killed – thrown into the sea, locked out in the cold, or starved to death. Far more commonly they were simply abandoned to die. If an abandoned person could manage to make his way back to the village on his own, he would be welcomed back as a full member of the community. However, this outcome was a rarity.

“Lock and Load,” the second studio album from 50 Cent’s hip hop group G-Unit is scheduled to be released on June 24th on Interscope Records.  The latest G-Unit Mixtape "Elephant in the Sand is available for free download HERE.

Murder 4 Life Exclusive: Spider Loc's Debut Album Slated for Release “Soon”

Sources close to west coast rapper and G-Unit punchline Spider Loc, ne Curtis Norvell Williams, have confirmed the hip hop artist’s latest album “West Kept Secret” will be officially released “Soon.” The release date is good news for the rapper, who’s hypothetical album was first announced for release in Nevuary 2008 and has since suffered from a series of delays and set-backs.

In a Murder 4 Life exclusive, Spider Loc’s Baby-Mama’s cousin from around the way commented, “Yeah baby, my boo Spider is definitely Cripin' for G-Unit West ya heard? Spider told me that the album was coming ‘Soon’ for all you hater-ass bamas.” The rapper who’s career highlights include an appearance on the adequate soundtrack for the 50 Cent semi-fictional biopic, “Get Rich or Die Tryin,” and a completely inconsequential beef with fellow West Coast rapper The Game apparently remains irrationally optimistic about the prospect of his record receiving an official release. According to sources close to the rapper, the unexplainably boastful MC, and self described “G-Unot Killa” has declared “Tell me what the Loc is if he ain’t the shit.” Members of Loc’s inner-circle expect “multi-platinum sales in the streets” and at least multi-dozen sales in retail locations worldwide from Compton to Englewood. When reached for comment, Loc stated, “Game didn’t bring the West back he just cleared my way. This is what we’ve all been waiting for, G-Unit West, Spider Loc, mess your chest up like an egg toss. Believe that.”

If true, this announcement could mean a busy 2008 for G-Unit records which already has several releases planned for both Nevuary and Soon, including records from the extremely patient Hot Rod, the increasingly irrelevant Free Way and the largely forgotten Mase Murder.

When reached for comment sources for G-Unit/Interscope referred Murder 4 Life to an intern in the mailroom who would neither confirm or deny the story.