Showing posts with label douche bags. Show all posts
Showing posts with label douche bags. Show all posts

Wednesday, September 3, 2008

Shocker: Snowman previously worked as "Chuckles the Clown"

Following the recent revelation that rapper Rick Ross was previously employed as a prison guard for the Florida Department of Corrections, the week reporters uncovered another rapper with a hidden past that contradicts his gangster lifestyle. According to the Associated Press, despite his claims of a criminal past and a history of drug dealing, rapper Young Jeezy used to work as an entertainer at children's birthday parties near his home in Macon, Georgia.

According to reports, Jeezy, the self described "Snow Man" was previously known as “Chuckles the Clown” and “Majesto the fun time party Magician” in addition to work dressing up as popular children's characters including Barney the Dinosaur and Winnie the Pooh.

Walt Mortenson, owner and founder of Walt’s Wacky Party Supplies told reporters that Jeezy, real name Jay Jenkins, was a valued employee for over five years. “I remember Jay, he was wonderful with the children. Whether he was making balloon animals, or dressing up as [Winnie the] Pooh, he always had a smile on his face, and a spring in his step.”

When asked about his alleged past employment, Jeezy was quick to deny the accusations. “The snowman never work no nine-to-five, feel me? We trappin’ and we strappin’, ya heard? Yeeah! Jeezy make it snow, I’m tha snow man. It’s like a blizzard when Young Jeezy on the block. I don’t know no balloon animals. Balloon Doggy? Get tha fuck outta here!”

Despite the denials, the rumors surrounding Jeezy’s past persist. Jamal Wilson, a high school student in Decatur, Georgia, claims that Jeezy performed at his birthday party as a magician. “I knew it was that dude! He was at my birthday. Jeezy came, he made me a balloon dog, then that mothafucka ate like 10 slices of ice cream cake! That’s what’s up.”

This is far from the first time a rapper’s past has contradicted his public persona. In addition to the recent outings of Rick Ross and Young Jeezy, rapper Jay-Z previously revealed that Prodigy of the rap duo Mobb Deep used to take ballet lessons and 50 Cent has accused The Game of performing as a male stripper and exposed his appearance on the dating show “Change of Heart” where his girlfriend had a change of heart and opted to date another man.

Reports have been surfacing regarding other rappers’ pasts as well. Commenters on several hip hop internet message boards have reported that the self described “gentleman” Fonzworth Bentley was nicknamed "Dirty Raw Dogg" during his adolescence, due to his substandard grooming habits as welll as his preference for inexpensive malt liquor and unprotected sex. It has also been reported that Busta Rhymes frequently performed a raunchy drag queen act in Manhattan's West Village as “Mistress Zelda” and that Sean "P Diddy" Combs is not, in reality, a self-absorbed douchebag.

Young Jeezy's latest album The Recession was released yesterday on Def Jam Records. Buy it at Amazon HERE.

Saturday, April 5, 2008

Kanye West collaborates with another lame white douche bag

With the release this week of the video for “Homecoming,” featuring Coldplay front man and "huge pussy" Chris Martin, rapper Kanye West continues his long tradition of collaborating with really lame white douche bags. No stranger to douche bags, West has previously teamed up with a multitude of over-emotional pussy rock stars including such notable douche bags as John Mayer, Adam Levine of Maroon 5 and Sting.

Chris Martin rose to fame as the singer for "Coldplay" a band who's douchiness is surpassed only by its wussiness. Martin previously contributed his douchebaggery to the track "Beach Chair" off rapper Jay-Z's mediocre come back record and corporate tie-in, "Kingdom Come." The track has been widely described as "an embarrassment for everyone involved." When reached for comment, Kanye West expressed his admiration for Martin’s previous work and added, “He’s a huge pussy. This record is gonna be huge. I should know.”

Sources close to the rapper report he is currently in talks with several douchebags including U2 frontman Bono and members of the emo band Panic at the Disco regarding future projects.

Other rapper/douche bag collaborations of note include Jay-Z’s album “Collision Course” with rap/rock pussies Linkin Park, Lil Wayne’s remix of "Arms Race" by emo pussies Fall Out Boy and anyone who ever collaborated with Blink 182 drummer and reality television douche bag Travis Barker.

Kanye West - Homecoming Feat. douche bag Chris Martin

Kanye West's "Glow In The Dark" mixtape is available for free download HERE.