Friday, April 4, 2008

Sheek Louch tastes success, moves from "Dimes" to "Twenties."

With the unexpected success of his new single "Good Love," D-Block Records recording artist and petty criminal Sheek Louch, ne Sean Jacobs, has expanded the drug trafficking operation he runs out of his dilapidated one-bedroom apartment in Washington Heights. The perennially underperforming rapper has used the extra income generated from sales of his new album, "Silverback Gorilla" to increase the quantity of marijuana he sells in local clubs around his hometown of Yonkers, New York from "dime bags," to the more lucrative "twenty bags."

When reached for comment, a spokesman for the rapper announced, "Sheek Louch is on a roll. He thinks now is the perfect time to increase his business. This minor success has provided the motivation and, more importantly, the capital for Sheek to make an investment in his future and move to the next level." Louch hopes the increased revenue stream will provide much needed funding for the impoverished D-Block Records, a company that has not been relevant since the late nineties. "We doublin' our profits!" the rapper proclaimed after selling forty dollars worth of low-grade Mexican pot to 18-year-old Terrence Washington, a senior at nearby Saunders Technical School.

The news was met with resounding support from his label colleagues at D-Block Records. D-Block founder and music industry cautionary tale Jadakiss praised the move saying, "This is what we're talking about. D-Block moving that weight, we illegal up in this bitch. Some rappers talk about it, we live it."

“Silverback Gorilla” the rapper’s third solo album was released on March 18th, 2008 on D-Block Records, a division of Koch Entertainment. This week it fell 45 spots to land at number 86 on Billboard Top 200 chart.

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

First Up in the BITCH!!!

Anonymous said...

Yonkers Mutha Fucka!

Anonymous said...

DBLOCK!!!!!!! BRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAPPPPPP

GoCyrusGo said...

Once again, hilarious! The best thing that ever happened to him is coming off of Jadakiss' beef with 50 Cent. Did anyone realize that 50 never even spent time dealing with with this ignorant dude, and focused primarily on Jada and Styles? Straight clown. Yet, he involved HIMSELF in to the beef! How sad is that? And of course, in order to not be out-done, he always kept J-Hood in the clouds. Ahhh, so classic.

Anonymous said...

I don't know how you all roll, but in the Y.O. we smoke crack rocks like DMX even down at the DMV. Sheek Looch is always good for a dime but now that there's twenties i'll be seein son in the streets real soon.

Anonymous said...

Tastes success? He can taste deez nuts.