Lil Wayne, Sober for a Day, Reassesses Life and Tattoo Choices

Miami, Florida: Sources close to rapper Lil Wayne reported the rapper spent an entire 24 hour period earlier this week without indulging in any mind altering substances and was shocked to learn of his behavior during the past two years.

Sources close to the rapper claim the day started out like any other, with one major difference: The pharmacy close to Wayne’s Miami home was out of any cough syrup containing codeine and promethazine, the intoxicant of choice for the rapper. The rapper attempted to make due with Flintstones brand chewable vitamins but soon found himself sober for the first time in at least two years.

“Wayne was buggin!” reports Mack Maine, a close friend of the rapper, and signee to Wayne’s Young Money Entertainment record label. “Muthfucka was cursing and yelling all kinds of shit.”

Lil Wayne, aka, Weezy, aka, Weezy F. Baby, aka Birdman Jr., aka The Rapper Eater, aka President Carter, a hip hop artist and self proclaimed “Best Rapper Alive” rose to prominence due in large part to his recent appearances on an unprecedented number of Mix Tapes and guest appearances on other rappers songs. In recent months, however, the rapper has come under fire for his bizarre behavior including arrests on weapons and drug charges and a collaboration with fellow hip hop artist Ja Rule.

The source of Wayne’s distress was apparently a number of personal and financial decisions the MC had made during the extended period of intoxication. Chief among his complaints were recent tattoos that now cover much of the rapper’s body. “Why I got tats on my face?!” The rapper reportedly asked members of his entourage. “And why does it say ‘Baby’ on my arm?” Friends explained to Wayne that the “BABY” tattoo was an homage to his close friend and mentor Brian "Baby" Williams. A confused and visibly shaken Wayne immediately arranged for an appointment at a nearby tattoo studio to have the words “No Homo” added underneath.

Wayne was similarly distressed about a number of decisions that had been made concerning his career and finances. “They was all free!?” The rapper repeatedly asked, apparently referring to the multitude of mix tapes the rapper had created for free download on the Internet which could have potentially netted the rap star thousands if not millions if they had been for sale. “What the fuck was I thinking?” The rapper also expressed remorse for his role on rapper Jay-Z’s “American Gangster” album. “I made a song about Brooklyn?!” the rapper was quoted as saying. “Fucka, I ain’t never even been to Brooklyn! 17th Ward, New Orleans, where you at?”

When reached for comment representatives for the rapper released the following statement: “Lil Wayne is currently going through a difficult period in his life, we ask that the public and the media respect his privacy as he attempts to reassess the direction his life and career have taken over the past 24 months. Wayne wants his fans to know that he can’t feel his face and urges them to ‘Please Say the Baby.”

Sources close to the rapper are hoping the pharmacy restocks cough syrup before Wayne notices the “Fear” and “God” tattoos on his eyelids, hears his new single “Lollipop” or learns of his stated plans to start a band named “Bad Ass Grasshopper.”

Lil Wayne’s new album, Tha Carter III is slated for release in May, 2008 on Cash Money Records.